what do i need?

so long i haven't written anything. yeah...i can easily put the blame on my pretty busy life in jakarta :D but the thing is, i'm truly not that occupied. i just go to work and do something in order-basis, meaning that i still have plenty of times to do anything i want, like facebooking, browsing, and youtubing. i don't really fathom how to describe what i undergo now, it's just that i become more and more sluggish than ever. everytime i wake up, i know exactly what to expect from that day. complete foreseeable events that i manage to have everyday! i'm not saying that i don't want to live anymore. it's just that i need something new, something that makes me all alive again!! ohhh...how i miss that feeling. so...what do i need now??????

if only i could flee from my solid weariness for a second

i am always used to seek my sanctuary when i feel a bit bored or tired of this life by peeking through my old pictures, usually to my dear places that i'd like to visit again some day like paris :D but now that all my pictures in paris has gone with my stolen notebook and i didn't make any back-up, i felt like i no longer have any last resort that can give me a bit fresh air. for this reason, i just browsed some pictures of lovely places that always cast a spell on me, albeit it would never feel the same because there isn't me in these pictures hix...

my stolen pictures actually reveal the gloomier version of this arc and i used to adore it much

this version is better than mine, but it isn't the same though

just like arc du triomphe, i had the gloomier versions of this church because it was nearly dark when i took the pictures. moreover, just across the church, there was les deux magots, a cafe that was often visited by hemingway when he wrote his short stories back then. whereas, me myself just took a sip of amazing bittersweet chocolate. hhhh...how i wish so badly to have those pictures of mine again...

helplessly in rage

i've never been to this place before
when it first came into my view
i had no other taste but complete emptiness
as if there's a gigantic black hole emerged out of the blue

lord, i want to absorb the sunshine again
yet all i behold is a never-ending diabolical darkness
all i embrace is an absolute solidness
all i can write is red glowering letters

lord, when can i gain cloudless air?!

I'll be your lover too

i'll be your man
and i'll understand
and i'll do my best
to take good care of you

you'll be my queen
i'll be your king
and i'll be your lover too
yeah yeah

yes i will

derry down green
color of my dream
a dream that's daily coming true
and ohhh when the day is through
i will come to you and tell you of
your many charms

and girl you look at me
with eyes that see
and we'll melt into each others eyes

you'll be my queen
and I'll be your king
and I'll be your lover too

so simple, but i like it, but maybe it's more of robert pattionson's factor :D

it's definitely not worth forgiving

yesterday a bloody damned thief broke into my room and stole my notebook and digicam. after being investigated for a while, this so-called thief actually had been permitted by two people who are staying under the same roof with me, namely bu susy (the housemaid) and teh ina (the other kost inhabitant who fells this apparently new overwhelming power over the house because the owner trusts her).

anyway, i think it's basically cannot be called as a steal if we see the abovementioned pretext. i won't write any details here since i'm already too tired to describe this idiocy over and over again. here, i just want to write my current feeling so as to try to forgive myself for being so bloody stupid. well...i presume it's then more appropriate to simply put it as a case of GIGANTIC SHEER IDIOCY of two BLOODY STUPID people!! gawd, please enable me to forgive me myself.

this teh ina last night innocently asked for my forgiveness. yeah right! as if her asking for forgiveness could replace my dearie laptop and digicam. i'm currently thinking that it's real hard to tolerate and forgive this plainly empty-headed thingy. and i'm very positive that i won't change my mind anytime sooner or later. but maybe someone may ask me again about this matter if i'm already in my deathbed...

gawd...it actually still feels like a nightmare. if only i could refuse to believe it. a completely precious piece of my life has been roughly shattered by bloody remorseless bastards!!

earth

subhanallah… I simply couldn’t stop saying this for I was out of words when I saw this film. I just couldn’t take my eyes off the screen, partly because I was simply in sweet surrender of the fine nature itself, partly because I was trying to fathom whether God himself who made this film for five years. each picture doesn’t merely describe the beauty of ecosystem and considerable expertise owned by the film maker, but also clearly depicts how precious the mother earth that’s currently in negligence.

the polar bear family which is in struggle to survive without realizing that the ice in North Pole is at its greatest stake ever. the elephant’s clan that roams millions of miles to absorb water in the pool no matter what it takes. the marine dwellers that are threatened by coral bleaching and will in deep suffer of sufficient food in the near future. the birds that are vanished because there seem to be no more habitats in the rainforest, let alone the fact that there would be quite fewer green forests surrounding us because deforestation is in rapid progress. more importantly, human being will face lack of supply of oxygen and shortage of groundwater for keep on walking on the spheres. suffice it to say that earth obviously needs to be more preserved so as to prevent any kinds of extinction that may lead to harmful effects for the forthcoming generation, both human being and other dwellers of the earth. it is definitely high time to make a difference now, no matter how trivial the step is. one measure will be meaningful for all of us.

I was in distress to find out that the polar bear father finally put an end to his life for the inability to get adequate food because of lack of supply after striving hard for months in the sea. god…it will be so sad if I actually take part in the process of ice melting in the North Pole and to participate in making any polar bear families suffer ravenous starvation.

indeed… it doesn’t take a genius to grasp that the human being and his so-called consumerism have brought about this-fact-that-leads-to-immediate-major-catastrophe. someday in 2030, I don’t want to figure out in the newspaper that polar bear family has disappeared for ever. I don’t want to live in water world, as depicted in the film starred by Kevin Costner. I still want to see the forest of blinding trees shone by the sun up in the sky. I still want to take a bath twice everyday. I still want to eye flower blooming in every inch of the land. let’s act now people. let’s go green in every aspect of our life. let’s fall in love with the mother earth…once again.

morning sun

if only i could stay at a time

i would linger in sunshine

if only i could stop and stare

i would gaze at sun shining upon trees

rain might hold cloud as tight as ever

wind might embrace dunes in summer

earth might be as brown as dark chocolate

but sun always comes to the sleeping trees

when the sun is up

i'm so happy i could outburst into drips of glee