it's definitely not worth forgiving

yesterday a bloody damned thief broke into my room and stole my notebook and digicam. after being investigated for a while, this so-called thief actually had been permitted by two people who are staying under the same roof with me, namely bu susy (the housemaid) and teh ina (the other kost inhabitant who fells this apparently new overwhelming power over the house because the owner trusts her).

anyway, i think it's basically cannot be called as a steal if we see the abovementioned pretext. i won't write any details here since i'm already too tired to describe this idiocy over and over again. here, i just want to write my current feeling so as to try to forgive myself for being so bloody stupid. well...i presume it's then more appropriate to simply put it as a case of GIGANTIC SHEER IDIOCY of two BLOODY STUPID people!! gawd, please enable me to forgive me myself.

this teh ina last night innocently asked for my forgiveness. yeah right! as if her asking for forgiveness could replace my dearie laptop and digicam. i'm currently thinking that it's real hard to tolerate and forgive this plainly empty-headed thingy. and i'm very positive that i won't change my mind anytime sooner or later. but maybe someone may ask me again about this matter if i'm already in my deathbed...

gawd...it actually still feels like a nightmare. if only i could refuse to believe it. a completely precious piece of my life has been roughly shattered by bloody remorseless bastards!!

earth

subhanallah… I simply couldn’t stop saying this for I was out of words when I saw this film. I just couldn’t take my eyes off the screen, partly because I was simply in sweet surrender of the fine nature itself, partly because I was trying to fathom whether God himself who made this film for five years. each picture doesn’t merely describe the beauty of ecosystem and considerable expertise owned by the film maker, but also clearly depicts how precious the mother earth that’s currently in negligence.

the polar bear family which is in struggle to survive without realizing that the ice in North Pole is at its greatest stake ever. the elephant’s clan that roams millions of miles to absorb water in the pool no matter what it takes. the marine dwellers that are threatened by coral bleaching and will in deep suffer of sufficient food in the near future. the birds that are vanished because there seem to be no more habitats in the rainforest, let alone the fact that there would be quite fewer green forests surrounding us because deforestation is in rapid progress. more importantly, human being will face lack of supply of oxygen and shortage of groundwater for keep on walking on the spheres. suffice it to say that earth obviously needs to be more preserved so as to prevent any kinds of extinction that may lead to harmful effects for the forthcoming generation, both human being and other dwellers of the earth. it is definitely high time to make a difference now, no matter how trivial the step is. one measure will be meaningful for all of us.

I was in distress to find out that the polar bear father finally put an end to his life for the inability to get adequate food because of lack of supply after striving hard for months in the sea. god…it will be so sad if I actually take part in the process of ice melting in the North Pole and to participate in making any polar bear families suffer ravenous starvation.

indeed… it doesn’t take a genius to grasp that the human being and his so-called consumerism have brought about this-fact-that-leads-to-immediate-major-catastrophe. someday in 2030, I don’t want to figure out in the newspaper that polar bear family has disappeared for ever. I don’t want to live in water world, as depicted in the film starred by Kevin Costner. I still want to see the forest of blinding trees shone by the sun up in the sky. I still want to take a bath twice everyday. I still want to eye flower blooming in every inch of the land. let’s act now people. let’s go green in every aspect of our life. let’s fall in love with the mother earth…once again.

morning sun

if only i could stay at a time

i would linger in sunshine

if only i could stop and stare

i would gaze at sun shining upon trees

rain might hold cloud as tight as ever

wind might embrace dunes in summer

earth might be as brown as dark chocolate

but sun always comes to the sleeping trees

when the sun is up

i'm so happy i could outburst into drips of glee

twilight

i've never given much tought to how a person could be totally intoxicated to a fictional character such as edward cullen in the twilight saga, though i was in the same shoes years ago :D if you asked me about this so-called forbidden love story about two weeks ago, i would definitely say that this film is a big no-no for me because it's too cheesy and phony a teenage flick.

bu then, i decided to watch it because i'm half-dead curious why people could be so fall in love head over heels to this edward cullen, the sparkling vegetarian vampire who has golden eyes and bronze hair haha...

well...in principle, i like this film because of its gloomy and gothic nuance, not to mention all the green forests embellished most of the scenes and great soundtracks of muse, radiohead, linkin park and all. moreover, the most apparent thing that invites people to be sitting glued in the XXI theatres is the chemistry between edward culllen (robert pattinson) and bella swan (kristen stewart) themselves. of course, one also won't easily overlook the grand scene of a bunch of vampires playing baseball.

so, as a friend of mine once said, their outlawed love story and the cullens are like personal brands of heroine to me from that moment on...

No one will surrender tonight, but I won't give in. I know what I want.

the air of headquarter

when you start thinking that everyone looks older than they really are

you must be in the headquarter

when you start treating your friends as foes

you must have inhaled the air of conceit

when you start downgrading other people

you must be necessitating your self-righteousity

when you start having meetings more than your daily meals

you must have passed the days in nausea

when you start exaggerating about your virtues

you must have fallen prey to greed

when you start digging in your deepest breath

you must be totally down and out

when you start painfully craving to your sacred necropolis

you must have been in deluded obedience
when you start drowning in humdrum patterns
you must have been in wit's end

when you start asking where you really want to be

you must be at loose end

rats, is this place really something to die for?

how many sorries to make it forgiven?

about three days ago, a friend of mine thought that i have committed the shittiest thing in our camaraderie on account of not passing an info on my odyssey to the most beautiful part of this crowded city. i had my own reason of course. it nonetheless never crossed my half-wit mind that it would somehow do a bit harm on her. i totally had no slightest inclination to bring about any casualties on my conduct, but then...who would guarantee that everyone would be on the same page as i was?

after asking some friends who were previously on the same shoes, i asked for forgiveness from her and prayed that maybe someday i wouldn't be a shit-ass anymore. but then...who would guarantee that your good will shall be directly gratified with forgiveness? in the end, as quoted from another friend, maybe...maybe she just needs her space to calm herself. the question, my friend, is how many sorries to make it forgiven? albeit not necessarily to be forgotten..

on the bench

he was sitting on the bench
while she tiptoed on the yellow green grass
easy and no pretension
simple talks and bursting laughter here and there
the surrounding was flawlessly enveloped by soothing tone

“is this for real?” she asked
did he inhale the same air in between them?
would he dare to blow out the magical numb to the blue gray sky?

sunday indeed never comes too late dear
for it’s still such a gorgeous sight for her
to eye him in the middle of dry afternoon